I was 16, a size 14 and it was —long before body positivity hit the mainstream or my Tumblr feed. Now, as a year-old woman wearing a size 20, sex has changed year after year as my body has gotten bigger and the dating pool has gotten smaller. Before fucking someone new, I feel the need to address my fatness before we meet. I think this is what some guys were hoping would happen too.

But in all my fluctuations, one thing I have never struggled with is getting laid. Despite the dominant cultural narrative, there are no shortage of men of all sizes out there who are attracted to fat women. Both the internet and TV seem to operate like fun-house mirrors, taking women who are perfectly desirable and attractive in their day-to-day lives and reflecting them back as grotesque stereotypes for commentary.

Are there any books I might check out for sex with an unusually heavy man? Without getting too graphic, his stomach is so large, we cannot have sex; it just simply cannot be done…therefore other positions are necessary…I need help. So your beau has a big belly and it makes penis-in-vagina sex hard.