I was six months free of an abusive relationship when I got the text. It was from Beau, a coworker. I'd spent the entire morning trying to figure out what I was going to eat for lunch, not realizing my naked photos had already been sent to half a dozen people. An overwhelming sense of shame overtook me as I told him to prove it.

A few weeks ago, I was reading the newspaper at the breakfast table when an article about revenge porn caught my eye. My stomach knotted up, as it always does when I come across articles like this, and horrible memories of my own revenge-porn experience in my 20s came flooding back. He had tousled black hair, olive skin and was incredibly charming. At the time I was in a relationship with a long-term boyfriend I'd grown out of, and shortly afterwards I broke up with him and took the plunge, moving to Spain to be with Antoni. But after the first few blissful weeks, Antoni changed.

I've been split from my ex for 4 years; he has very embarrassing and explicit naked pics and a video which was taken without my consent. I'm worried he'll post them online and ruin my life and career. Shall I stop worrying as he hasn't posted them yet and we have had no contact and assume he won't or should I try to contact him to ask him to get rid of them or could that just flag up the control he has? What should I do?